Asking your Neighbor Out on a Date - Tips and Advice


Having a hot neighbor for many is something straight out of a fantasy. Meeting a gorgeous girl or a hunk of a man in close environs of a lift or by the swimming pool can open up untold romantic possibilities. So if you are planning to ask your attractive neighbor on a date, here are some tips to help you along.

Get to know him/her

In general, it is a good idea to get to know a person a little bit before dating. This helps you plan a date better and engage in activities which would reduce the awkwardness of a first date. The same is true of your neighbour too. If you have only seen your attractive neighbour from far, find a bit more about him/her. You can ask others in your apartment building or in your neighbourhood about the person - like whether he/she is single, in school or has a job. A local coffee shop, deli or grocery store where your neighbour is a regular may be a few good places to pick up such useful nuggets of information.

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Introduce yourself

While doing a bit of homework about an attractive neighbour is how you can start out, it is not a substitute for a personal introduction. Rather than springing up a date invitation on your neighbour out of the blue, find a way to say a casual hello first. If you live in the same apartment building this could be when you are taking the same lift on your way up or down. You can also get acquainted if you are in a common area like the lobby, parking or basement laundry room. If you see him or her frequently at the apartment clubhouse, saying hello and asking what building he or she lives will again be in the normal course of things.

Take baby steps

Even if you have got acquainted with your attractive neighbor, turning up on his/her doorstep with a proposal for a date may not be a good idea. If the object of your interest is a woman, it could put her on her guard against a potential stalker where in case of a man he may be too surprised to respond positively. Instead look for ways to spend a little time together in a casual and non-exclusive environment. For instance if you are going for a walk one evening, see if she would like to join you. Or when you know he is out grocery shopping in your local store, drop in and explore a few aisles together. This way you will get a reasonable idea whether your neighbor likes being around you and what his/her response would be if you ask her out. Even if you are prepared to take that chance, spending some time in casual chit-chat will give you some indication on his/her interests and thus you can tailor your date accordingly. For instance if your neighbor is a music lover, you could mention casually in the lift that you have two tickets for a music concert in your city and would he/she like to come along. On the other hand if he/she seems to be fond of outdoors, mention that you happen to know of some picturesque biking trails and you’ll be glad to share them with him/her.

Use neighborhood events

If you feel too shy to engage in a one-to-one chat with your neighbor, use a building get together or a neighborhood barbecue party to break the ice. Sharing a common context will go a long way in minimizing the awkwardness of making introductions; Unlike approaching an attractive stranger in the bar, there is less pressure when approaching your neighbor because you already have something in common to talk about—the apartment complex or neighborhood. You could start a conversation about anything, from how long you’ve both lived there to the recent noisy construction outside. Even if you have already crossed the introduction stage, a neighborhood event would be a great way to see how the two of you interact with each other. You can engage the object of your interest in some small talk and easily find out if he/she is single. If replying in the negative, you know your way is clear and you can make use of some shared interest or a mutual hobby to suggest an evening out together. In fact a block party or a poolside barbecue one too often may easily lead onto a date. After you’ve done this a few times and you think the feelings might be mutual, it can be as simple as asking them to a dinner or dance again, only without all the other people.

Plan it well

Now that you have managed to get a date with your hot neighbour, plan things carefully. Just because you live down the hallway from each other, don’t ignore basics of dating courtesy like the guy picking up the woman from her doorstep and she not making him wait. Also it would be a good idea to plan dates away from your homes. Although it's convenient that you live close to each other, make an effort to go other places as well. This will prevent your relationship from growing stale and keep in interesting.

Consider the pros and cons

If you have been on a couple of dates and got to like each other, consider the pros and cons of taking things further. Proximity between partners can be a plus because it gives you greater access to your loved one, which makes it possible to get to know that person better. Then there is the convenience of not having to drive to pick your date up or drop her from the other end of the town which also means that you need not return early from an enjoyable evening at the nightclub or restaurant. However dating a neighbor brings with it certain disadvantages too and one of the biggest is that is that you lose your privacy. You are likely to give up boundaries when dating a next-door neighbor. A person will feel that they have greater access to you and think nothing of knocking on your door at odd times in a day or even late in the evening. Dating a neighbor means that you do not have the option of avoiding their phone calls or pretending to not be at home when they come knocking for they can easily see if your car is in the driveway. Again if things don’t work out, it would be awkward for you to constantly run into your former date in the building's lobby, especially if either of you are with a date. Then there is possibility of things getting sticky if the person turns out to be a jealous type of individual or unstable since an obsessive behavior can easily slide into stalking.

While all these concerns may be somewhat premature if you are still considering how to ask a neighbour out, it is best to be aware of all sides to the situation before taking the first step.