What is She Thinking on the First Date - When Women Size you up


The first impression is the last impression, goes the common adage. And nowhere does this create more anxiety than on a first date. Women at the best of times appear inscrutable to men. And when you are meeting her for the first time, it is even more difficult to know what is going on in her mind. Here are some common of the most common ways women size you up on the first date.

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How does he look?

Needless to say appearance is one of the foremost things on woman’s mind when she goes out with you the first time. She may be worrying over whether her own hair is alright or her makeup is in place but don’t forget that all the while she is sweeping an equally critical glance over you. So when going on a first date, try to look your best. She knows that this is the time when a partner will make the greatest effort in looking good and as the comfort level increases, you will start taking your appearance for granted. Thus if on the very first date she finds you messy and unkempt, it could signify anything from laziness to disinterest on the part of a man. The good news however is that usually neatness and being well-groomed score higher with more women than keeping up with the latest runway trends or showing off expensive accessories.

What will my friends think?

It is extremely important for women to measure up to their friends’ judgment and the closer her pals are, the more she will fret about what they are going to think about her date. So even if your partner may appear to have been smitten by you, remember underneath she may be still thinking about her friends’ reactions to you. So be at your gallant best on your first date – treat women around, like a waitress perhaps, with courtesy and respect; and assure your date that you are extra-funny, extra-nice, not to mention extra-rich. All this will go some way in assuring your date that you will pass the test by her girlie gang and emerge with flying colors.

What about his exes?

A dashing guy like you is sure to have a history of relationships before you met her. Thus no wonder that despite appearing confident and relaxed, your date is wondering about how many women have you slept with or if your ex-wife still expects you to pay her dry-cleaning bills. To reduce her anxieties, avoid talking about your former relationships – whether bragging about how women beg you to stay on or how your ex practically reduced you to bankruptcy after the divorce. This is just not the time to go into the past. At best you will come off as a vain peacock and at worst, she will realize that you are still to get over your past relationships.

What does he want

So you are having a pleasant time on your first date. However even before you have mentioned the word ‘sex’, your partner may be evaluating your expectations from this relationship, if it ever reaches that stage. She is probably over-analyzing every word and gesture from you for clues whether you are came looking for a one-night stand or just to have a nice time. Spare her further agony by simply spelling out what made you ask her out on a date in the first instance, whether it was because of the Kafka that she was reading at the café where you first saw her or because your friends bet you a hundred bucks if you could ask her out.

Is he boyfriend material

Ok, so you made a good impression on your first date. But that doesn’t mean that she will let you enter her personal space just yet. She will first go through a long period of analysis, ticking off all the desirable traits of a boyfriend and seeing how far you possess them. If she does not find you considerate, financially secure and generous, you will probably never get to propose to her. On the other hand if you are sexy, funny and deliciously unpredictable, she may just agree on a wild fling with you but without any thoughts of a relationship.

What happens next?

As you are nibbling on the entrees or enjoying the second round of drinks with your date, she may be debating about what happens next – whether you are expecting to come home with her or whether she will lose a chance with you if she takes a cab home. Most women are aware of the pitfalls of hooking up the very first night but this does not mean that a woman will never want sex on the first date. It is usually a good idea to let things progress slowly and become intimate only when you and your partner have reached a comfort level.

Who picks up the tab?

Despite dating conventions laying down that it is the guy who should ideally pay for the first date, women agonize over this one as soon as they sit down on the table. Your partner may be worrying that she will come off as cheap if she does not offer to pay for the food or at least split the bill. Alternatively she may worry about offending you if she does take not take out her credit card. The best way to settle all confusion is to hand over your credit card to the maitre de at the outset and simply mention that she should order whatever she likes. This will make you appear a gentleman without leading her to think that you are showing off.

There is no telling what exactly a woman is thinking on a first date. Different women have different priorities and choices in partners. However don’t let all this get in your way of enjoying your date since one of the best ways to impress a partner is to make sure she is having a good time with you.