How to Appear Confident to Girls


The number one turn on for most girls is confidence. Yet, this is one area where a lot of guys go wrong when meeting someone new and interesting. Some tips on appearing confident even when you have those butterflies in your tummy talking to a girl who’s making you nervous:

Take care of your appearance

The first thing that a girl will notice on meeting you is your appearance. If you are slovenly dressed or looking untidy and unkempt, she is bound to pass a critical eye over you. This will make you feel inferior subconsciously and automatically translate into outward nervousness. If you wish to appear confident, make sure that you are neatly dressed and in accordance with the occasion. Take care to be well-groomed since nothing turns off a woman as quickly as unkempt hair, nails, beards and body odor. If on the other hand, you appear well groomed and well dressed, half the battle is won and you can take care of other aspects of your personality without worrying how you are looking.

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Mind your body language

One of the easiest ways a person’s nervousness is apparent is through certain aspects of his body language. Slouching, shaking a leg continuously, drumming fingers on the table and touching the ear, nose or hair repeatedly are all signs of nervousness. To appear confident, adopt a straight but relaxed posture. Keep your hands on the table or comfortably on your sides. Make sure your gestures and mannerisms are easy and natural but don’t dwell too much on your actions. If you do find yourself getting obsessive or erratic with your gestures, breathe in deeply and play down your mannerisms. Confident people remain collected on the outside which is a reflection of the calm self-assurance within.

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Don’t confuse confidence with cockiness

In an attempt to avoid appearing nervous, some men make the mistake of trying too hard to look confident. The result is that they come across as brash, cocky and extremely unlikable. Be careful of the signals you are sending by your behavior. A confident person will look steadily into the eyes of the girl he is speaking to, while a cocky guy will shift around his gaze and be scared of looking into the girl’s eyes directly for fear of being found out. Again someone who is overconfident will talk too loudly, go on and on about himself and even his speech will sound strained, too fast and choppy. On the other hand, someone who is assured of himself would prefer to listen actively and ask about the interests of the person sitting before him. Even his speech would be relaxed, slow and specific. So keep away from mannerisms of a cocky and overconfident person and rather work to cultivate behavior which is reflective of a truly self-assured personality.

Smoking before meeting someone is a big no-no

Many men mistakenly believe that smoking calms the nerves when in fact cigarette smoke can act as a stimulant. So if you smoke before you are meeting a girl, you might start displaying signs like flushed face, increased blood pressure, dry mouth and constricted pupils which are all associated with heightened nervousness. However if you are a regular smoker, the ebbing nicotine in your bloodstream may lead to minor  withdrawal symptoms like trembling of fingers. So if you must, have your smokes well in advance then brush your teeth and use a mouthwash. Smoker’s breath consistently figures as one of the biggest turn-offs among women. Finally it is best not to smoke while you are meeting someone. No woman enjoys being enveloped in cigarette smoke and instead of making you look confident, a cigarette held in your hand can in fact amplify the slightest tremor in your fingers, thus making you appear nervous.

Avoid other stimulants too

Coffee, soda and sweets are other stimulants that can increase signs of nervousness. A single cup of coffee is alright if you want to be alert but consuming an entire pot is likely to make you highly strung up. Alcohol on the other hand may be reputed to relax the nerves and loosen inhibitions but too much alcohol can lead you to lose focus so that instead of remembering to appear confident, you will begin to display behavior that is out-of-control.

Build a positive attitude

Confidence is quite difficult to fake since there are hundred small things that can give you away. So the best way to go about trying to appear confident is to program your mind for positive thinking. Once you start building up confidence from within, it is bound to evident on the outside. Start by giving yourself a pep-talk as you leave to meet your date or someone important. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I look great today” or “I feel good about myself”. Of course it will help hugely if you are actually neatly turned out. Once your subconscious self absorbs these positive feelings, they are bound to be manifest in your outward behavior. And once you genuinely feel good about yourself, you are sure to appear confident to others. Yet another way to evoke positive thoughts is to find a quiet place and take your mind back to previous occasions of success and happiness. Remembering them will recreate feelings of calmness and assurance in your mind and help you to move ahead with confidence.

However these confidence-building techniques will not be effective in just a day. The more you practice them, the easier it will be to use them when required. In fact it may take days and even months before you can appear confident without trying or even thinking about it. But once you have perfected or even practiced the tips on appearing confident, you are sure to feel confident from within and never lose it again.