One of the biggest concerns for women in the context of casual dating is safety. Since the partners are usually strangers in this kind of dating, a woman needs to feel secure with the date to be able to have fun and make for an enjoyable companion. Here are a few ways to make a woman feel safe and create the right conditions for a pleasant evening.
These days the internet is one of the most popular ways of finding a date. The plethora of dating and social networking sites has ensured that you can look for a partner without even getting up from bed. Not only this, there are dating sites to cater to practically every kind of relationship ranging from marriage to casual sex. However women are often advised to be wary of getting entangled with online contacts since many of them could be married, scam artists or worse, psychopaths.
The anonymity of the internet is a major stumbling block when it comes to encouraging women to open up. However there are ways you can make a female contact feel safe even as you get to know her online. Foremost among these is to be truthful about the personal information and photo on your profile. Appearing single when you are married and posting a photo of someone else instead of your own may not seem like threatening gestures but they do qualify as lies and a woman who can sense your dishonesty will be highly unlikely to feel safe with you, either in the virtual or real world. Also avoid being too insistent on obtaining her home address, cell phone number and place of work since this can make you out as a stalker. All these are details that any right-thinking woman will share when she feels safe with you and not before.
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More than ever, women are now living on their own – whether because of college, jobs or divorces. This as well as rising rates of violence in many cities has compelled single women to be responsible for their own safety in their social and personal relationships. Thus when dating, you need to be conscious of this fact which is why do not persuade a woman to meet you at a private place, like your apartment or even an out-of-the way restaurant. Most likely she will want to keep the outing at a public place for the first couple of dates; for the same reason she may also decline meeting you late in the evening or any other unearthly hour when there are few people about. So when asking her out, try to be accommodating to such safety compulsions– better still let her decide the time and place. This way she will be assured that you do not have any nefarious motives and feel safer with you.
Also for the first date, women are advised to come in their own cars so that they can make an easy exit in case there is trouble. Thus don’t ask her to pick you up, even if it is on her way or the venue is nearby; in fact if she demurs on your offer to pick her up from her place, let it go and don’t insist.
Focus on the little things
Men have long been genetically wired to act as the protector in relation to women. However since women are no longer considered to be the “weaker sex”, men now consciously downplay this attitude. Even then knowing that a guy will protect you from harm – like a holdup or a drunk driver – can go a long way in helping a woman feel safe. So focus on your actions, words, and even thoughts that show you as a protector – for instance hold out the car door for her as she is getting in or when walking down the street, walk on her side that puts you between her and traffic. Apart from making her feel safe, such gestures are extremely attractive in an old-world sort of way and could convince her to get intimate with you earlier than usual.
Take her cue
A woman who is looking for a relationship will take more time to check out a guy when dating. In case of casual dating though, men assume that it is alright to look for sex by the second date or so. Even if your date feels the same way, don’t throw yourself at her when you are saying goodbye or put your foot in the door as she is closing it. Let her give the cue you are looking for and then act on it. She may ask you over to check out the DVDs you have claimed to be your favorite or follow the time-honored coffee line. Above all, assure her about safe sex. Always carry latex condoms with you and in case she asks about your sexual health, be honest. These details are extremely important in making a woman feel safe while dating casually since you are not looking for a relationship and there is less opportunity and time to build up trust.
Get her to open up
While making a woman feel emotionally secure may not seem significant in the context of casual dating, it can ultimately make a difference when she is considering whether to ask you over for the night. This is because the emotional and physical aspects of sex are usually deeply entwined in case of women and they tend to gravitate to men who they feel safer with. So even when you are clear about a no-strings attached date, try to think of the ways how you can put her first. For instance if going to a restaurant allow her to walk first, sit first and the order first. More importantly spend time in conversation learning about her and her world. Give her room to open up and don’t talk about yourself too much. When she shares a vulnerable thought, empathize and add your opinion in a caring way. All this will not only make her feel safe being with you but even seeing more of you in an intimate context.