Ever wondered why your dates don’t go further than the first meeting. Or perhaps women inevitably excuse themselves after ten minutes of talking to you. Most likely you come across as an uninteresting person – nice but not really capable of setting fire to the soul. If you suspect this is the case, read on to know about what you could do if most women find you boring.
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Ask more about herself
Initial dates are usually about getting to know each other by talking. And here is perhaps where you are going wrong. It is understandable if you love the sound of your voice – most people do – but unless you let your partner talk too, how can she be interested in the conversation. So hold back the temptation of following a question on her hobbies by saying, “Let me guess, you like to go dancing”. Rather ask your date to tell you about her favorite pastimes, work, vacations that she may have taken and about her dreams and aspirations for the future. And then zip up and listen to what she has to say.
Make the questions open-ended
Asking questions with a yes/no answer is not likely to get a conversation much far. For one, your date may assume that you are mechanically going through the routine questions rather than being really interested in what she thinks. If you ask her whether she liked the latest Batman movie, she may answer with a monosyllable or worse, with a mere shake of her head. On the other hand, if you put a more rounded question like “Tell me what you found most interesting about Heath Ledger’s take on the Joker”, she may feel that you are actually interested in her passion for movies and wish to know more about it.
Send out the right signals
Apart from how you converse with your girlfriend, it is also important what your body language says. If you are slouched over your seat, not looking at your date while talking to her or getting distracted by people around you, she is likely to construe this as evidence of your lack of interest and get bored pretty quickly. Sitting with fists clenched or arms crossed across your chest also suggest an inability on your part to have a frank, engaging conversation with the person sitting in front of you. So if you want retain your date’s attention, make sure your body and gestures send out the correct signals. While sitting adopt a straight but relaxed body posture and slightly incline your body towards your date to indicate your interest in her. Keep your hands open with palms facing her most importantly don’t break off eye contact when you are talking to each other. You need not glare at her all the time – just maintain an easy friendly mien with a natural smile playing on your face.
Take your time
If you already have an inkling that most women find you boring, perhaps you tend to try too hard. An essential part of a seducer’s armory is a relaxed, easy-going attitude which exudes non-chalance and charm at the same time. It may be difficult to adopt a calm demeanor when actually your heart is thudding inside so loudly that you can barely hear yourself. However if you appear to be desperate to attract women, you will come across a bore and inevitably turn them off. Rather take a couple of deep breaths before you approach a woman. This will help you to steady your nerves and focus on the matter at hand without thinking too much of the consequences. Also avoid various signs of nervous behavior like talking too fast, shaking your leg, drumming your fingers on the table or gesticulating too much. Remember that the practiced seducer takes his time when chatting up a woman. He leaves enough space for silences, makes her comfortable and then draws her out.
Don't be too quiet
Even though giving your date enough scope to talk about herself is an essential part of a conversation, don’t come off as too quiet yourself. She may construe this as an indication of your disinterestedness or worse as evidence that you have something or someone else on your mind. You may be the strong and silent type, but remember your date does not know that as yet. So make an effort to reveal a little about yourself too, what your work is like, who your friends are and what you like to do during leisure hours. A conversation is satisfying only when both parties contribute to it equally.
Be a little unpredictable
Women who are out dating want a little bit of fun and spice in their lives. And if you can cater to this unsaid expectation, you will surely endear yourself to the opposite sex. Small ways to surprise your girlfriend like buying her a thoughtful gift or taking her to a ‘mystery date’ would go a long way in raising your attraction quotient. Also remember that despite appearing practical, many women still like to be courted in the old-fashioned way. So come up with small romantic gestures now and then like writing a poem for your girlfriend or arranging for a candlelight dinner on your porch and she will surely wait for what else you have to offer.
Enhance your personality
It is a good idea to prepare yourself not only to impress women but also to stand out in your professional and social circle. Even the most expert of seducers have got where they are with years of practice and there is no reason why you shouldn’t do it yourself. Widen your intellectual horizons by reading, learning a new language or taking up a new course. Pursue hobbies which you have never tried but were always intrigued by. Finally take care of your appearance and lose weight if you have to. Nothing works as fast as a stylish and well-groomed look to attract the attention of a woman.
There is no instant formula to make yourself interesting to women. But neither do you need to be born with it. It might take days to bring about certain changes in your personality but the best part is that most of these can be learned with a little bit of patience and hard work.