How to Find Someone Who Loves You For What You Are


Being an ideal partner often involves meeting varied and sky-high expectations. One is expected to be smart, attractive, well-employed, mentally at peace and of a fun-loving disposition to have a successful love life. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was somebody who could love you for your essential self and not for his or her idea of the perfect lover? Here is how to find our own true love – someone who would love you just the way you are and not look for anything more.

Begin at home

If you wish to be loved for the person you are, first of all learn to love and accept your own self. Don’t whine about how you wish you were a couple of inches taller or a couple of pounds lighter. Be proud of your own qualities and never belittle your achievements before others. Come to terms with your physical shortcomings if you have any by remembering that no human being is perfect. Only when you value yourself as a person will you find that someone else is ready to find you special enough to be a companion.

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Don’t copy others

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in your search of true love is to try to be someone you are not. Every day young men and women are being bombarded with media images of what it means to have a successful love life. According to popular notions, the happiest girlfriends are blonde and chirpy with reed-thin bodies who are showered with gifts while boyfriends are ideally rich, with washboard abs and flashing sports cars. Break out of this mindset and believe that love comes in all kinds of packages. While it is a good thing to absorb positive qualities from others, never try to turn yourself into someone else. You will not only be uncomfortable in someone else’s shoes but will never be certain whether your partner loves the real you or the image you have adopted.

Be careful when making friends

If you want to find someone who values honesty and integrity, then hang out with like-minded people. Though making up a minority in all social situations, such people do not take others at face value and look beneath the exterior when making friends. They are free from prejudices based on race, religion and culture and value all positive qualities in their friends. The more you interact with people of such values, the higher your chances are of eventually finding someone who loves you for who you are.

Be honest

When you begin to date someone, be honest about your values and expectations from the relationship. Very often when you come across a person you would like to know better but find that he or she thinks differently about some aspect of the relationship, then you are tempted to mould your own thinking according to your partner’s expectations. For instance you may not feel that it is essential for a woman to have children to feel fulfilled but your partner may think that motherhood is an integral part of womanhood. In such a situation you may feel that once you both become a couple, you will be able to make him see your point. Avoid playing along to your partner’s expectations if you want to be loved for who you actually are.

Consider your dating profile

These days online dating sites are popular ways of finding a date or even a life partner. But be careful of how you describe yourself in your online dating profile. Avoid exaggerating or undermining any aspect that may cause potential candidates to have different expectations from the relationship. For instance if you are looking for a committed relationship, avoid describing yourself as the ideal person to have a good time with. This is not to say that you need to reveal everything about yourself even before you have met the right person – only make sure that what you tell about yourself is the truth. When you are sincere, it may take a longer time to meet the right candidate but will eventually save you a lot of heartache.

Develop yourself

While every self-respecting individual would like to be loved for who he or she is, there is no harm in enriching your personality. If you could not finish college, see if you can go back. Attend night classes or community college if cannot afford the expense. Take up a course in the arts, engineering, management or wherever your bent may lie. You will not only get to learn new skills but also acquire the self-discipline, exposure and confidence that come with gaining new knowledge.

Consider how you fee

If you have met someone and would like to whether he or she loves you for who you are, consider how you feel when you are with your partner. You may be dazzled by your partner’s beauty or successful personality and yet feel stressed, anxious and on edge most of the times in the relationship. If on the other hand, you feel cherished and fulfilled in love, this is perhaps what you are looking for. Someone who loves you for who you are will make you feel good about yourself, happy and proud to be in love.

Accept others for what they are

If you are looking for someone who would love you for yourself, then be ready to accord others the same value. Go beyond the externals when looking for true love. Put a higher premium on people who make you feel cherished and appreciated over those who simply excite your senses. Look for qualities like integrity and trustworthiness since if someone possessing these is attracted to you, you can be sure that it is because they love your real self and not some idea of the perfect lover.

So here are a few ways of finding true love in this world which is teeming with images of what one should or should not be to have a successful relationship. The main thing is to give it time. If you are patient and assured of your own worth, you will certainly meet that special someone who will love you for who you are.