How to Meet and Date a Writer

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Some of the best expressions of the highs and lows of being in love have been set in words. Best-selling books are written about love overcoming all odds and songs are composed about lovers promising to be true to each other. But what is it like when it comes to dating the very people who write such novels and poems. If you have been wondering what would it be like to meet and date a writer, here are a few pointers to help you along.

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Look for literary events

If you wish to date a writer, first of all you have to know where to find them. Unlike a staid banker or a downtown yuppie, creative people like writers will rarely be interested in whiling away time at bars and shopping malls. Instead their recreational activities are more likely to be literary in nature. So look out for writing workshops or literary meets taking place in your city. Book launches and book reading sessions by well known authors would be other events that would attract budding writers in order to network with members of the publishing community. In fact book launches in recent years have emerged as some of the most sought-after cultural events and often draw a large section of attractive singles from various walks of society. Then again there are author signings where you cannot only have your copy scrawled by a celebrity signature but also check out other guests while sipping martinis and nibbling on appetizers. However even if you don’t care for the limelight, book launches can still offer valuable opportunities in connecting with other literary professionals, who if you are lucky may even turn out to be single.  

Frequent places where book lovers hang out

most of the times writing is thought to be a spontaneous activity – it is as if a writer seized by the spirit of inspiration simply holds a pen to paper and all literary forces well out in the form of a poem or novella. On the contrary, most writers would point out that writing is like any other art which requires hours of practice and study. Thus writers are often found to frequent libraries and book stores in order to gather material for whatever they are working on. While this may not be as true of poets, anyone related to the literary profession is bound to be a book lover – lapping up the writings of past novelists, dramatists, poets and biographers simply in order to experience the best that written word has to offer. So if you are keen to meet a writer, drop in on book stores and get a library membership. Most towns and cities have their share of cozy cafes where writers find it comfortable to sit for hours, watching the world go by and getting some writing done. Even better, become a member of a book club which bring together people who like to read on an explicitly social platform. The whole point of joining a book club is not simply to read books – a library membership will allow you to do that just as well – but indeed to meet other members, discuss favorite authors, review new launches and if in the mood shred to pieces offerings by new writers. In fact many men and women join book clubs in order to meet new people and make new friends based on mutual interests like books, poetry and writing.

Get involved in creative pursuits

Writers belong to the tribe of people who are forever seeking new ways to satisfy their creative hunger. So apart from writing, they can often be found engaged in various kinds of artistic pursuits during their leisure hours. Thus this is the right time if you are thinking of taking up a creative hobby like gardening or pottery; maybe you have always wanted to pick up a sensual dance form like salsa or dig into the finer points of Lebanese cuisine but never had the time.  Now is the right moment to sign up for special interest classes or courses which will throw you in touch with creative people and if lucky you may find an attractive writer among them too.

Go online

Like every other special interest group, those driven by a love of writing too have made their presence felt online. Look for social networking sites which bring together writers, readers and others with literary interests. Two of the best among such online portals are goodreads.com and literarythings.com. Here you can meet individuals and budding professionals related to the world of books and if you are able to connect with someone, you can take your interactions to the real world as well.

Set up a writing date

A new concept that has become popular with budding writers is that of a writing date. This is simply a way of working in the company of a writing partner so that each is able to enthuse the other to get some writing done. While the overt purpose of such a date is to actually write, nevertheless the social context can turn out to be a way of taking things further. Check online or other writers’ resources and find someone who says, “I wish I could write more, but. . . .” Ask him/her to meet you with their writing project for an hour and a half in a café or library. Chat for about minutes about life, get your drinks, and set up your workstation. During this time you can also share with your ‘date’ about what each of you is going to work on.  Decide on how long you’re going to write together and when the time is up, take a few minutes to talk about how the writing went. After this you can either go your own ways or if you find a connection, can agree to meet on a real date next time.

Be prepared to adjust

Creative people like writers need a lot of time away by themselves – they use this time to think, imagine and engage in their particular creative pursuit. On these occasions, any intrusion – even from you – may be unwelcome. And even if you are interested in the same or closely related creative pursuit like writing poetry or directing plays, still your partner may wish to be on his/her own to practice his/her art. Thus if you are one of those people who are emotionally dependent on their partners and do not take kindly to being shut out – no matter for how short a time – you may have difficulty coping with your partner’s bouts of solitude. Apart from this a writer can also be moody and irritable when their work is not going well. At these times, you will simply have to let your partner be and wait for him/her to come back to you when they are feeling sociable again.

And yet for all their mood swings, dating a writer can be a truly satisfying experience. If a writer has anything, it is a unique way with words. Your partner will woo you and romance you with words which will simply sweep you off your feet. in social situations, this facility with words can translate into great conversational skills which will not only make a date enjoyable for you, but even keep an entire gathering hanging onto your partner’s every word. Most of the times, a creative temperament also goes with a broader humane personality, that which is free of prejudices, discrimination and materialism. Finally you can depend that your relationship is unlikely to fail as a result of lack of communication. Since writers have a special ability to put thoughts and ideas across, it will be that much easier for the two of you to thrash out any challenges to the relationship.