What are Turkish Men like - Dating Guys from Turkey

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Turkey is a land that stands at the meeting point of the Orient and Occident. Hence Turkish culture has many of the positive aspects of both the East and West. For this reason too, sometimes people from Turkey appear complex and difficult to understand. So if you are interested in knowing what Turkish men are like, here is a brief pointer.

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They are rather traditional

Even though modern Turkey has adopted many of the western principles in sectors like health, education, economy and military, still Turkish society is rather traditional at heart. Men expect women to follow gender roles as laid down by tradition which essentially means taking care of the home and family. This is in no way a compulsion since both Turkish as well as Turkish-American women are encouraged to study and work but somewhere, somehow they are expected to conform to ‘womanly’ pursuits, preferably as a teacher, nurse, doctor, in an office job and so on. So if you are involved in a profession where you spend long hours with male co-workers, are out for most nights or touring in other towns, you can expect a Turkish male partner to disapprove. Traditional notions about gender roles may also extend towards how much women in their family should earn, how they should spend and how far they should take family decisions. Even when Turkish men have successful professionals for a partner, they are apt to believe that a bringing up children and looking after the home are solely a woman’s job; thus they can be rarely depended upon to do domestic chores or care for the kids at home. Having said this, not all Turkish men are rigidly patriarchal; there are a whole range of attitudes between the two extremes and if you wish to date a Turkish man, it would make sense to share your individual notions of gender roles and responsibilities.



Attractive in a macho sort of way

To a great extent women from the western world are attracted to the macho, raw sexuality of Turkish men. Many of them are handsome, have a wonderful accent and seem to have no problem making their desire known. However the ones that are easiest to fall for are those who are both attentive and passionate, artistic and rugged, liberated as well as spiritual and it is this combination which makes for a roller-coaster, exciting dating relationship. At the same time, you must be aware that while Turkish men find it easy to initiate a physical relationship, they will rarely respect a woman for being sexually confident. Turkish guys will feel that if a woman can be got into bed on the first or second date, she is “easy” and not worth getting into a relationship with. In Turkey it is quite common for men to have extra marital affairs and keep a mistress whereas in other cultures this could be a definite deal-breaker in a potential relationship. So be on your guard when dating a Turkish man - allow yourself to partake of the excitement and romance but don’t be fooled into believing that if you have had sex, it means something special to him.

Family comes first

Many women who have been disappointed by their Turkish partners claim that while Turkish men prefer to date American girls, they will marry only a ‘good Muslim girl’ their parents select for him. To be fair, this is not true only of Turkish men but of those from many traditional societies where family pressures override all other considerations include falling in love. Turkish Mamas exert considerable influence over their boys and even if your Turkish guy has been living in the US for several years, be prepared to be kept away from his parents. You may find that you both have a warm romantic relationship but still no talk of meeting the parents. Even if the Turkish guy you’re dating feels you are the woman for him and musters up the courage to arrange for a meeting with his parents, steel yourself for a cold response from his folks. This is because Turkish families prefer girls from their own religion and culture for their sons for the simple reason that such girls know what is expected of them and thus have an easier time adjusting to the family. American girls or those from western cultures will inevitably find Turkish gender roles and expectations from a daughter-in-law too serious to handle and end up causing heartache not only for herself but for everyone else around. And yet as with any rule, there are always exceptions. These days there are increasingly larger number of Turkish families who are ready to accept the fact that children’s personal lives and loves are not for their’s to interfere.

Finally you cannot lay down hard and fast rules about what Turkish men – or for that matter guys from any culture – are like. Education, family values, and exposure to other ways of life – all play significant roles in determining what a guy thinks of life in general and love in particular. Your best bet lies in getting to know your partner well and letting that determine whether or not you love him enough to override cultural differences.