Dating convention, for good or bad, encourages women to take the subtle approach when they would like to show their interest in a guy. This may have several advantages like social propriety and an enhancement of the feminine mystique – but at times it becomes difficult to get the message across. So if you like a guy but would like to be discrete while expressing your interest, here are ten ways to flirt with him subtly.
One of the best ways to convey your interest in a guy without any overt communication is to be around him a lot. You could meet him in the lift to his office floor, bump into him at the nearby diner and even find a way to stand next to him in the pub for an after-work drink. If the guy has any sense he will soon realize that the reason behind so many ‘accidental’ encounters is to give him the chance to make the first move in getting acquainted. Usually men know that if a woman suddenly becomes more visible than before, chances are she is trying to catch their attention.
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Keep your voice soft
When you want to flirt with a guy, you normally begin by striking up a conversation. Engage in some small talk and encourage him to participate. You can even laugh at his not-so-funny jokes but don’t make it a loud or coarse guffaw. Rather giggle slightly or come up with a gentle tinkling laugh. Whatever be the specifics, if you wish to show your interest, then keep her voice soft and endearing, as if inviting him to say more.
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Get the Monalisa smile
This implies the kind of half-smile that the model of one of the world’s most famous portraits wears. It is enigmatic as though tempting the viewer to find out more about her and yet at the same time, it is not a full toothy grin which would take away any mystery. Equally importantly is how and when to smile at your guy; wait till you catch his eye and then smile in a way that displays interest without appearing dorky. It could be a half-smile or just a shadow of a smile turning up one corner of your lips – the specifics are up to you but it should be attractive and tantalizing enough to hold the guy’s attention.
Hold eye contact
This is the key to subtle flirtation when you cannot depend too much upon physical contact to show your interest. Initiate eye contact when the guy looks around the room or if he is already talking to you, hold his gaze. This shows that you are interested in what he has to say and wish to continue the conversation. However don’t turn your look into an unblinking stare or you will freak him out. Hold your gaze for a couple of seconds as a half smile plays on your lips and then slowly close your lashes even as you turn your gaze elsewhere. This will send across the message that you are interested in him without being very obvious about it.
Convey it with your body language
When talking to the guy, lean slightly towards him and sit with your palms or feet facing him. You could also play with your hair or an earring and stroke your earlobes as you do it. These instances of personal touching draw attention to your body and send out the signal that you wish him to reach out to you similarly. Don’t forget to smile a lot and look pleased if he happens to check you out.
Flirting with a guy need not be held hostage to the here and now. Subtle flirtation especially can be carried on when you are apart too. For instance call him to tell him something you saw that reminded you of him. Mail him or text him to forward a humorous message or a joke. All these will show him that you think about him when he's not there and that you've paid attention to a story he's told or a personality quirk he may have.
Display your interest
In case of subtle flirting, you need to avoid the obvious expression of sexual interest. Herein your conversational skills could come in handy as a way of signaling your interest but keeping it above board at the same time. While chatting with the guy, ask him about your hobbies, likes and dislikes in music, movies and food. Display your curiosity about his family, where he went to school and even what he usually has for breakfast. All these are ways of letting him know that you would like to know him better and are game to take a casual encounter further.
Reach out to him physically
Sometimes it may be necessary to send out a few physical signals to indicate your desire to flirt with a guy. Look for ways to touch him more often than what friends do or to tip-toe into his personal space. You could lean a mite too close to see what he is reading or lightly touch his wrist to look at the time on your watch. You can also brush against him light when you are walking together or laughingly poke you in the ribs at a joke. All these signs should be enough to show your guy that you like being around him.
Show that you are open to any plans
If the guy suggests a walk through the park together, don’t spoil the mood by pointing out that you are allergic to pollen or are wearing high heels. Try and be completely amenable to any future plans proposed by the guy as long as it includes you both. So if he happens to mention that he likes bowling, brighten up and say, “You do? I’m crazy about it myself. We should do that some time pretty soon”.
Enlist his help
Playing the damsel-in-distress is one of the most effective ways to get a guy to come inside your personal space. So if you are out with the guy late in the evening, shiver noticeably and look longingly at his jacket. And when he gives it to you, invite him to a cup of coffee at a nearby café or use it as an excuse to meet up the second time. Alternatively you can think of other ways to seek his help like showing you how to install an anti-virus on her computer or asking him to fix the catch on her bracelet. These are often delicious excuses to be physically close to each other and can turn the skill of flirtation into a subtle art.