Just like painting or cooking, flirting too is an art. Some are lucky enough to be natural flirts. It just comes so easily to them. But take heart! Flirting is not a talent which you either have or you don’t. It is a skill that can be acquired and honed. The more you practice, the better you get at it.
We sometimes hear of a guy being referred to as an ‘incorrigible flirt’, but it is rarely a derogatory tag. In fact women often love to be flirted with; it makes them feel special. And almost all women adore a skilled flirt, unless of course he happens to be your boyfriend and he’s always flirting with other women!
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Flirting is not a male domain. In fact most men love women who make the first move. You can earn extra points by doing it with grace and flair.
Many of us feel we just can’t flirt and would probably end up looking foolish. And we secretly envy those who seem to attract members of the opposite sex like bees to honey. Sometimes we justify it by saying, “Oh, he’s good looking”, or “She’s got a great body”, and hence successful at the flirting game. You’re wrong!
You don’t have to be attractive or sexy to charm the socks off the man. Sure, it can help; but with or without them, you can still come out tops in the popularity charts.
For those who think they could never do it, here are a few tips to be a successful flirt:
1. Show It Off
If you’ve got it, flaunt it. We’re not contradicting what we just said, but if you’ve got the assets, capitalize on them. We’re not talking obvious beauty here, but if you’ve got good legs, display them. Or sensuous lips, accentuate them with the latest shade from Maybelline. If you’ve been bulking up those biceps in the gym, don’t hide them. Whatever it may be, make the most of your best feature!
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2. Sex Appeal
You may not have any single spectacular feature, but you may have something intangible…if anyone has ever told you that you have loads of sex appeal, let it show! It could be your razor sharp intelligence or sparkling wit. If you know it gets them weak in the knees, exploit it to the maximum.
You have to exude this quality if you want to be successful at the flirting game. Flirting requires gumption and you need to be really bold in your approach.
4. Dress to Impress
As you approach her, she assesses you and already forms a snap judgment based on what she sees. It's not said for nothing that ‘First impressions are the last impressions’, so before you even open your mouth let, your appearance speak a thousand words. If women have told you before that you have a good butt, wear that cool pair of Levi’s that highlights it, along with your favorite shirt.
5. Smell Good
Our body secretes pheromones that are subtle indicators and draw members of the opposite sex to us. But, you could help your cause a bit by generously using an extra dash of that David off or Burberrys. Women go weak at the knees when men emanate that indefinable aroma which is all musk and male.
6. Body Language
Our body can send some very powerful signals and it is an invaluable tool in the art of flirting. The eyes, for instance, can speak volumes without a word ever crossing our lips. You can adopt the subtle approach and sidle glances his way or be bold and grab her attention with a direct look. Be sure not to stare offensively though, she may run, but not in the direction you’re hoping! You can even be coy and use the age-old fluttering of your eyelashes and hope he’s a sucker for it. The hands too can be used to advantage. You can run your fingers suggestively down the spine of the book you happen to be carrying as if you’d rather be running them down her spine! Or if you’ve got luscious lips, you could keep running your tongue over them to moisten them or pout in his direction. The possibilities are endless!
7. Conversation Opener
There is no point setting the stage, perfecting your costume and make-up and then forgetting your lines. When you’re flirting, put on the performance of your life. Know what you’re going to say and be convincing. Try for something original instead of the run-of-the-mill pick-up lines. There are, of course, women who enjoy the occasional corny line, but every woman would like to hear something new.
Use good language and if you have a way with words, use it to your advantage. If you’re well-read, bring it up at relevant points in the conversation. Remember though, while you’re trying to impress, this is not about you, always steer the topic back to your partner.
Observe and pay compliments. If you really want to make an impression you’ll avoid the more obvious, like how she has great hair or he’s got fantastic height. Try and probe and discover things not apparent on the surface and you’ll have your victim’s attention.
Don’t resort to idle flattery; unless you do it with remarkable aplomb or your target is stupid or both, you won’t succeed.
If you ask most men/women for the top five qualities they look for, a sense of humor almost invariably figures in the first three. Its no wonder they say that laughter is the best medicine. If he’s faking a polite laugh, then you know enough not to pursue it, you’re not on the same wavelength or he simply doesn’t find you funny. But if he finds you rib-ticklingly funny, you’ve ensured a date by the end of the evening.
11. Make Him/Her Feel Special
The one you’re trying to flirt with may be in a roomful of people or surrounded by a group of friends but try holding eye contact and making him/her feel like they are the center of your universe. Be interested in everything he/she is saying and absorb every feature as if you are trying to etch it in your memory. Believe me, they will get the message that you’re more than interested!