Are you fed up of waiting for your man to decide whether or not he wants you in a long term relationship? If so, take heart in the fact that you are not alone.
Today, more than ever, men are delaying settling into a steady relationship. A major reason for this is the easy availability of partners so that they no longer have to wait for marriage in order to have sex. Also, they like to remain in their comfort zones and are not ready for the emotional and financial realignments in their lives, which a marriage is bound to bring. Again, the rising incidence of divorce makes men wary of committing themselves to a marriage, for the enormous emotional and financial costs involved in case a marriage does not work out.
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However all is not lost. Go through the following points and you may find that your man is finally ready to commit to you and that too, willingly.
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Be sure that you are ready
First of all be certain that he is the man you are willing to commit yourself to. Consider if he passes your test for integrity, confidence, worthiness and consideration to others. Are you sure you love, trust and respect this person so much that you are willing to spend your entire life with him? Does he genuinely love you in return? Only when you are positive about the answers to these questions, should you go ahead to make your man want to commit to you. If you have even the slightest doubt over his character and his love for you, it will be a wasted exercise.
Don’t change yourself
A mistake women often make is to change their personality in order to conform to what they think their partner will like enough to commit himself. Remember that your partner was attracted, in the first place, by the person you are. So resist the urge to change yourself and continue to hold on to your own values, opinions and interests. Moreover, if your partner sees you change even before marriage, he might be wary of committing himself to someone he is not sure will remain the same person he got married to.
One of the worst ploys a woman can use, to get a man to marry her, is to appear weak and incapable of looking after herself. While this may seem to work in the short run, by flattering a man into the role of the master and provider, pity can never be a strong basis for a successful marriage. Eventually men are bound to weary of women who expect them to fulfill their every need. So be strong and independent in your ambitions and opinions, if you want to make your man feel that you are the woman for him and eventually commit to you. For instance, you want him to accompany you to a party but he is reluctant to come along. Instead of sitting and sulking at home, go ahead without him and cheerfully tell him to have good time too. Again don’t put your plans on hold in the expectation that he will commit himself and then you’ll need to change them. If you are planning to take a course in another city, go ahead and do it as if he were not in the picture. Your partner will know that you are a self-assured, independent woman capable of taking her own decisions and managing her own life. And believe me, he will respect you all the more for that.
Reveal your caring side
While you must maintain your independence, don’t forget to show your partner that you are a kind and caring person as well. There are many psychological theories about how men look for a reflection of their first caregiver in their life companions. While this may or may not be true in detail, it is certain that men are looking for a life partner who will love them and be there for them in good times and bad. All human beings have a need for a companion whose love is unconditional and non-judgmental and so do men. While you need not fall at your man’s feet, let him know that you will be there for him and he can depend on your love.
Love him for who he is
One of the biggest reasons which keeps men from committing themselves to the women they love, is the fear that they will be used simply as a means to an end, to be a provider, a father or just a handyman in the house. Show your man that you love him for who he is and not for just what he can give you. Interest yourself in his values, opinions and life goals. Learn about his career and professional ambitions, but make sure you appreciate the satisfaction he gets from his work and not just the money he is making from it. Also reassure him that you love him for the person he is and have no intention of asking him to change himself. This way, he will be assured of being accepted for his own true self and thus more open towards committing himself to you.
Take care of your appearance
Be proud of your femininity even as you are assured in your sense of independence. Groom yourself well, not just when your man is around but as an essential part of your self-improvement. Your man will see that your physical attraction is part of your whole personality and will be thus keen not to lose you to anyone else.
Don’t rush him
If your man seems to be too long in deciding to commit himself to your relationship, relax! See it in a positive light, as his way of being sure that he is doing the right thing by you both. Don’t push him into meeting your parents or suggesting that he take you to meet his family before he is ready. Let the suggestion come from him and until it does, carry on with your routine life with grace and dignity.
The whole idea behind the above points is to make your man aware of the beautiful relationship you share, while providing him the space to make his choice. Rushing him into a long term relationship before he is ready, or playing games with him with the purpose of goading him to commit himself is not only immature but also holds the danger of your relationship breaking due to lack of mutual trust. Remember, a relationship often means different things to different partners. But if you are completely sure, he is the man for you, go ahead and show him what a wonderful thing it would be to share a committed relationship.