The fragrance of scented candles wafts through the air, a bunch of roses perched at your windowsill is reminiscent of a memorable evening, the greeting cards that keep pouring into your mailbox for no particular rhyme or reason sends a euphoric thrill down your spine. Love, which was an all-pervading force in your life a few weeks ago, seemed to have faded into oblivion after an untimely end of a long-term relationship.
What seemed to be an eternal bond while it lasted, suddenly seems to be a meaningless relationship destined to be doomed.
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A casual date, which blossomed into a beautiful relationship that seemed to have lasted so long, may have lead you to believe that this could never end. The scars and the wounds of a broken relationship can leave you shattered and bitter. Thinking about starting a new relationship or dating for that matter, may be the farthest thing on your mind, in major cities where opportunity knocks at your door several times over, it becomes difficult to turn a deaf ear!
How do you know whether the old wounds and scars of your past relationship have been healed enough to date or let cupid strike again? There is no such thing as timing as far as starting a new relationship is concerned. Luckily, there are a few factors that act as a universal mantra for successful relationships. If you find that you meet these then it may be time to go dating again!
Stability in your life acts as a key to firmly seal or lock a relationship. To be secure and happy in a relationship, you have to be first happy and secure yourself.
Be it a casual date or a beginning of a serious relationship, maturity and a true understanding of ourselves will help in coping with the ups and down of the heart's state of affairs. Dating with a preconceived motive of finding stability just goes to prove how unstable you are as a person..
Seeking a new dating partner to help fix your fragile emotional state is no way of starting a new relationship. Learning from your past relationships can in fact make you more stable as a person.
This may sound strange but take time to review and reflect. Why did all my previous relationships and dating experiences meet an untimely end? List down your negative points and try to turn them into positive ones. A change of perspective or a possible change in attitude is one of the most important steps towards making a fresh start.
Each individual will have a different life experience. Self-improvement and growth can occur only when you recognize your shortcomings from the way you have interacted with your date in your past relationships. Negative traits will remain unnoticed until you make an effort to identify them and turn them into positive ones.
Each of your dating experience must have offered an opportunity to make a wish list of qualities of your ideal date. Sometimes what we thought we wanted didn't even come close to what we really needed.
After a long-term relationship, it's wise to put a pen to paper together to re-do your list of desirable traits. Did your previous dating experiences leave you feeling intimidated? A date who talks obsessively about his interests, hobbies or goals can hinder you from being really you. If your date keeps talking about just 'I me, and myself', it can be very unsettling.
An open conversation about your mutual interests and aspirations will revitalize both of you. Your conversations can range from totally mundane to the philosophical, but extra precautions should be taken not to dig into your past. Talking about your past can quickly transform a present date into a past tense! Regression in any form, especially discussing about failed relationships of the past, is a disastrous way of starting a new dating experience.
An obsession with your past love or past dating experience can take a ruinous turn when you keep mentioning your ex with unfailing regularity. Let your ex remain where he/she rightfully belongs: in the past. Remember that excess emotional baggage can create irrevocable dents in your present dating experience. Instead, before you start a new relationship, go for a deal with real issues of the heart privately.
Talking about what's really going on in your mind and your heart will not only leave your heart a bit lighter and happier but may help you in releasing any painful or negative emotions you didn't know you had bottled up. Just cry out your feelings and if possible, try explaining it to a caring and concerned friend.
Putting your emotions, thoughts, feelings and doubts into words will help in clarifying and analyzing your experiences better. A little bit of understanding of each other's needs and limitations is all it takes to make a relationship work for both of you.