It’s been a few years since you got married and your life’s like…well…vanilla...nice and boring.
The spark’s faded just a bit. Yes, we all know that it’s the general assumption that after marriage it should be enough that there aren’t any major problems. But what’s wrong in wanting more...what’s wrong with wanting to feel like you’re on your honeymoon all the time? You’d like to bring back that phase when your husband was all lovey dovey, misty eyed and wanting to hold your hand all the time…and if it goes back to the time when he couldn’t keep his hands off you and was dying to get you alone, nothing like it.
TIP: Find out how to make your husband fall in love with you again and bring back the romance.
It becomes inevitable to fall into the trap of becoming buddies after the first few years of marriage. This comfort zone, although great for cementing your relationship, does nothing for the romance. The good news is that you’re in the second phase of your relationship if you’re secure and don’t feel self-conscious. You’re having fun just being with him even though he’s reading and you’re watching your favourite show. It just means your relationship has matured to the next level. However, every relationship should be jostled out of this comfort zone if it gets too comfortable. The honeymoon is definitely over if you see him coming to bed in his old track pants, and you really don’t bother to wax your legs anymore.
If you want your husband to fall in love with you again, do the same things you did when you first met him and were just going out. Remember how you found out about his favourite band, favourite dessert, favourite movie, etc., It’s time to go back to that phase to revive the magic.
Gift him something that reminds him of the first time you met. It could be a basket of exotic cheese if you met at the cheese, counter in a mall. It could be bottled sand if you met him at the beach. Whatever you do, remember to be creative and romantic. Don’t gift him a watermelon just because you met at the fruit market…but you can gift him candied fruit peels in a handmade box with a note that says “I’m in love again”.
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Do stuff for him that he doesn’t expect you to. If you’re the kind who just hates going to the games, book season tickets. He’ll be so touched that he’ll never forget it…and knowing that you’re really not into it and are just doing it for him, will make him want to do things for you.
How many times has your granny said, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”? So go ahead cook your way to a man’s heart. If you’re a good cook, this shouldn’t be difficult. But if you can just about rustle up an omelet and toast, you need some help. You could order a take-away but that would just say “I care, but not enough”. Nothing says “I love you” like his favourite home-cooked meal. It’s even better if you’re a terrible cook because he would know how much effort went into it. Look up recipes on the intenet, buy a recipe book for beginners, or ask his mom to help. More importantly, practice cooking the meal. Cooking gets better with practice. Choose a simple menu if you’re not so confident about your culinary skills. Grilled chicken with butter garlic rice, followed by strawberries dipped in chocolate for dessert, or pasta with garlic bread and a simple country pudding. A simple, well-cooked meal is better than a gourmet disaster.
Always wear great lingerie. Do you need to be told how this works on a man? Surprise and shock him with a sexy red lacy number or a classic black teddy suit. Most men are shy about telling their wives what they’d like to see them in. You take the initiative and ask him.
Update your look. A visual stimulus is a big factor for men. Women are sops and fall in love with chubby men, men with messy stubbles, unkempt hair, etc. Not so for men. Even if he says he loves you without makeup, understand that he’s saying that to make you feel good about your appearance. Wear make up. Always wear clothes that make you feel attractive. Do not wear something just because it’s comfortable. Update your hairstyle every two years. Look your best all the time.
Set time aside for him and ask him on a date. When couples are married for a long time, they tend to take each other for granted. No special plans are made for weekends. If at all you dress up, it’s when friends are coming over or if you’re visiting people. Decide on a particular day and make romantic plans with your husband. No Burger King or Taco Bell. Plan a romantic getaway with sensual massages or take him out for a fancy dinner. Dress up like you did when you were dating…to grab attention.
Say nice things to him when he does things for you. Acknowledge his efforts. Thank him. Be genuine. You need not praise him if he places his coffee mug back in the sink…but if he fixes your car, be genuine and thank him. Men like to be acknowledged.
Surprise him. Leave love notes all over the place…in his drawers, in the medicine cabinet, in his pockets, etc. Say naughty things to him which you wouldn’t say otherwise. Take control in the sack if you’re usually the submissive one. If you’re usually disorganized and he hates that about you, organize the closet the way he wants it. Surprise your husband with a back rub when he’s tired. A trail of strawberries that leads him to you will drive him completely crazy. Send him a raunchy text when you know he’s in a meeting. Email him in the middle of the day to tell him that you miss him. Be unpredictable and he will treat you like this mysterious goddess.
Book a table at the same restaurant where you used to meet when you were dating. Blindfold your husband and drive him to the restaurant so he has no clue. Order the same things you ordered before.
Wear the same perfume and if possible, wear the same dress. In order to get your husband to fall in love with you again, remind him of the girl he fell in love with. Being with you shouldn’t only be good, it should be exciting. A little bit of thought and effort will help you get in this mode. Taking control and initiative can be tedious, but just wait till you see the effect it has on your husband. Attack all his senses, smile, and watch your husband falling for you...again.