To kiss or not to kiss. Of the many first-date issues that wrack a man or woman, perhaps none is as insistent as the matter whether or not to kiss the first time you are going out with someone. If you have been obsessing about this every time you are out on a date, maybe it is time to deal with the issue head on.
What are you/your partner looking for?
Kissing is sweet; and fun and exciting, especially when you are doing with someone you find yourself attracted to. And yet the first date is really more about getting to know a persona rather than locking lips right away. Essentially whether or not to kiss depends on what your or your partner’s dating priorities are. If you both are simply looking forward to an interesting evening with someone of the opposite sex, then there is barely any reason for kissing. On the other hand if you and your partner are meeting with the specific intention of exploring romantic possibilities then kissing may definitely be on the cards and yet not comprise a mandatory act.
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Examine the dynamics
Even if you are meeting someone with the express intention of a romantic partnership, it may be rather premature to land a kiss on your partner’s mouth. Rather talk a little, laugh a little, get up and dance with your date to the nice music playing in the background and then wait for any evidence of chemistry between you two. If sparks still don’t fly, don’t worry; love at first sight is still more common in movies and novels rather than in real life. On the other hand if you can actually feel the air crackling with chemistry, then a kiss may be inevitable. And yet don’t force it to happen or the magic will pass and things will become strained and awkward.
Wait a while
Even if the mutual attraction is undeniable, it is better to give the lip lock a miss on your first date – if only to increase the sweet agony and anticipation till you meet each other the second time. Also holding off kissing on the first date implies that you are serious about your partner and looking forward to a series of meetings where you can naturally develop the intimacy rather than rush through the motions on the very first evening.
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What does your partner want?
However if you are sure you want to kiss your partner on the very first date, the next thing to consider is whether he/she is equally eager to do so. To decide this you will need to look closely at your partner’s behavior through the evening. Is he/she constantly brushing against you with their hands, legs or thighs? If a woman is trying to make eye contact, batting her eyelids or fluttering her eyelashes at you, then chances are, she is trying to get you to read her willingness. All these are signs of flirtation and if a partner is unabashedly indulging them on a date, it is definitely a green signal to you to go ahead and plant that kiss.
The right time
First date kisses usually happen when the guy is dropping his partner off on her doorstep or she is saying good night in the car. Also it is conventional for the man to make the first move. If you are a guy, time your kiss well, so that your partner does not disappear indoors before you have been able to work up the courage to kiss her. On the other hand if you are a woman, take things slowly and don’t be in a rush to close the door on your guy’s face before he has had a chance to kiss you.
Do it the correct way
While kissing your date, inch towards his/her face slowly. You may have differing kissing styles, so feel each other out before you go whole hog. If you are the guy, avoid suddenly attacking your partner’s face with your salivating mouth. While most women are thrilled to know that they are desired, you don't want to be perceived as a testosterone driven animal. Be careful to exhibit self control. If she asks you to stop, move back. If she doesn't ask you to stop and you wish to go on, consider the repercussions should one thing lead to another.
On the other hand if your partner turns his/her cheek to your approaching lips, you know that he/she is not ready for the kiss yet. Despite the faux pas, you can still salvage the situation by apologizing and thanking her for a wonderful evening. Though it may be difficult to verbalize, an apology will make you appear sincere and respectful and thus score you brownie point with your partner. Yet another way to extricate yourself from the embarrassment of misplaced kiss, is to laugh it off; throw in a joke to ease the awkwardness and after bidding her good night, get back in the car.
Above all be prepared for a romantic signing off even before you leave for the date. One cannot overemphasize the importance of personal hygiene on such occasions. After all the first date is the most important chance you will have of making a good impression and therefore mistakes like bad breath and body odor should be strictly avoided. Brush before leaving your home and rinse with a mouth-wash. If you have had garlic or onion-based appetizers or foods during the date, ensure that you take a mint or gum to dispel the pungency. Offer one to your date too, and even if neither of you require it, it will send the message across that you are thinking of a liplock to seal the deal.