You have been dating this wonderful guy for weeks now and know for sure that he is not serious about any other woman. And yet something seems to be holding him back from going all out for you. Here are ten of the most common reasons why you may be scaring off a guy or simply unable to get him to like you.
You call him all the time
Traditionally men have been the pursuers and women the object of their romantic pursuits. While attitudes have definitely changed over the time, men still get a thrill out of the chase and the feeling that a woman’s resistance has to be overcome. So if you have been calling up your guy twelve times a day or crashing his inbox with cheesy text messages, he can hardly help pulling away. Give the man his space – he will call you if and when he is interested. And in case he is not, maybe it is time for you to fish in other waters.
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You show too much affection
If you are too effusive in your affections for the guy, especially when you just met him, he is sure to be scared away. It may be true that at long last you have finally met the man of your dreams, but declaring on your second date how much he means to you and how you would die for him will not work at all. Keep your expressions of love for when you have received definite signals of interest from him or even better, let the romantic avowal come from him first.
You want to change him
Things were perfectly great when you started dating this guy; but soon you were suggesting that he wear his hair a little longer or listen to jazz instead of hard rock. Men resent it when their partners take it upon themselves to change them or “better” them as women would have it. The reasoning of the male sex is simple – if we are good enough for you to be attracted to us, then why change us at all?
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You overanalyze everything
One of the reasons why your guy still hasn’t fallen for you could be because he fears for his emotional balance. Women are known for their tendency of giving the most impossible interpretations to the most trivial of actions. And truly, over-analysis can spell doom for a relationship that may have been completely healthy to begin with. So try to stop obsessing over why your boyfriend called you fewer times today as compared to yesterday. Or why he should want to have his latte at a new coffee-shop as opposed to the usual one. Most of the times the frequency of phone-calls and text messages or personal quirks are not meant as a subliminal message for you; overanalyzing every simple thing will lead to a stressful atmosphere and sooner or later, your partner will want to move away.
You are turning into a clinger
If you have been depending on your boyfriend to do every little thing for you, chances are that he is a bit overwhelmed by your neediness and fears that it will get worse with a steady relationship. Learn to be responsible for your own happiness – go out with your friends more often or have an enjoyable time on your own. Stop seeking his help in things which you can well manage by yourself. All this will make you come across as an independent and mature woman and serve to make you more attractive to your boyfriend.
You blow hot and cold
Granted that guys like a bit of competition when they are wooing the woman they love, but when they’ve settled in and made a commitment, they want the chase to stop. On the other hand if you are still pushing him away with your right hand, while pulling him closer with your left, your guy will just stop wanting to be with you altogether. When you send out mixed signals, he naturally feels confused about what you want and eventually he will pull away completely to spare himself the strain of interpreting your messages.
You are possessive
Maybe you think being possessive about who your guy is meeting during lunch hours or what he is doing in his free time is a sign of intense love, but it is likely that he doesn’t see it as that way. If you throw a tantrum every time he receives a call from a female co-worker or meet him with a volley of questions if returns late, your possessiveness could be the reason why he hasn’t fallen for you. Apart from indicating lack of trust in him, your possessiveness also makes you come off as insecure and emotionally immature.
You compare him to your exes
Even though you do it only to show up the faults of your exes, having your present date compared to your previous partners is hardly comfortable for the guy in question. Apart from showing that you don’t respect his individuality, it is also reveals that you have been unable to move on from your past relationships. So little wonder that things have not moved ahead with your current boyfriend since he probably thinks that you are still hung up about your former flames.
You gossip about your friends and their problems
Many men find it quite trying to their nerves when their girlfriends go on and on about where the girlie gang went out shopping, what brands they tried out and who they saw flirting with whom. If you do this only once a while, your guy may only zone out, but if gossip is the only kind of conversation you have with him, very soon he will want to look for partners with whom he can discuss more meaningful things.
You try to be one of the boys
If you have been trying hard to get the guy like you, that in itself is a major turn-off; but if you have been doing it by trying to appear as one-of-the-boys, you couldn’t be any further off the mark. Swearing, belching, back-slapping and beer-guzzling are OK as male bonding rituals but not as seductioon techniques. If you indulge in these, your guy will, at best, see you as a pretty weird buddy and at worst, vow never to take you out on another date.